10 Apr 5 Great Parts of Dating Advice
When you gather to celebrate the wedding of two people who have discovered happiness with them, you never need to think that this joyous union could one day result in an affair or painful separation and divorce. But, truth is, statistics aren’t very favorable these days. Now’s divorce rate is climbing higher and higher, along with the disintegration of second marriages is even more common. Many relationships have been affected by infidelity and it’s a topic that needs to be understood.
Esther Perel is a therapist who has worked with partners for decades. Her latest book addresses the topic of infidelity, and then she sat down with Lewis Howes to talk about it. In that interview, she shared a few helpful insights. We thought we would share a number of them in this post for the benefit of any lovebirds that are beginning a new chapter as husband and wife.
1. Esther talks about being courageous enough to Examine hard things together. It is vital for a couple to talk about the deep stuff, and all these are the questions she gave as examples: “Have you ever been heartbroken? Have you ever left someone at a [poor] way? Have you been cheated on? Have you made up with somebody who cheated on you? Have you got trust problems?”
2. Another point? Lewis and Esther talk about how, in today’s Idea of love, we kind of hope that one person will be in a position to be and do everything for us. In Esther’s words: “We want one person to give us exactly what once an whole village” This is an impossible standard. Placing all the obligation on your spouse to take care of you and make the relationship good is a recipe for failure.
3. What about if trust was broken in a relationship? What then? If couples decide to work through it, Perel pointed out that an acknowledgment of the mistake is essential by the person who has broken the confidence–but that’s not enough. They need to be there for the fallout. Finally, whoever broke the confidence has to allow their partner to feel their emotions–acknowledge them, get angry, talk to it, work through it and be supportive and loving throughout the process.
4. Esther referenced the work of John Gottman by citing his “4 Horses of the apocalypse”: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. When a connection runs off the tracks, normally at least one of these four behaviors is present. Nevertheless, the surprising thing is that: if difficulties arise in a relationship, we often believe the issues are the issue. Esther said, however, that how the problems are dealt with is perhaps more telling than the actual concerns.
5. Esther asserts that couples who have good relationships over the very long term “maintain a level of focus with one another.” They do not let the relationship get stale, they’re affectionate, and they still continue to have fun together. Making this kind of effort prevents the connection from getting humdrum and boring.
When we gather to observe weddings, we all hope the newlyweds will enjoy a beautiful life together. By applying these tips to our relationships, we could make deeper connections and more powerful families. As a motorcoach company, we specialize in providing excellent group shipping. If people hear motorcoach, they frequently think of tour groups, employee shuttles, or even a car for getting marathoners into the beginning line. But guess what? We take care of wedding transport as well! If you need a charter bus rental Maine to manage the traffic stream at your reception place, we understand how to do this! If you’d like to keep the wedding party together, we have got you covered! We’d really like to be certain that you don’t need to worry about transportation on your special day with our charter bus rental Maine!
This is the connection for the interview (and quotes) referenced in this post:
https://lewishowes.com/podcast/r-esther-perel-the-truth-about-infidelity-intimacy-and-love/
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